Wow, it's finally the weekend and man oh man what a packed weekend I have ahead of me *inhales all the coffee.* I have a surprise blog post, (surprise because I didn't pre-plan this, I just thought of it a few minutes ago, wrote it, added photos, saved it as a draft and made a reminder to post this tomorrow morning.) I thought, hey - I have something to say, and I bought a cool jumper so we might as well add it all together right? Well, at least that's what I thought, and what's happening. So here goes....
I love weddings. That's just it. I guess I'm your typical girl in that aspect, I love.... love. Now with that being said, it may shock you (being the hopeless romantic that I am) that unlike many girls, younger Amanda never planned a wedding or dreamt about the venue or flowers or dresses (surprisingly). All I dreamt of was the man I would one day marry, and the love we shared. Now I must say, all the weddings I have ever attended as a 18+yr old....I was not single. It was fun. I had someone to dance with (well, kinda), take pictures with, look across the room to when a certain song came on, and secretly whisper into their ear how badly I wanted Mcdonalds instead. Weddings are so fun when you have a special someone in your life. I know it sounds selfish, being that weddings are not about you and that special someone, but rather the couple getting married, but you understand I'm not self-centered, I'm just a 23 yr old girl trying to figure life out. I mean, aren't we all? Okay, now that we got that covered, let's move on...
Yesterday I went to the most beautiful wedding I have ever been to. Friends of mine got married and I can't tell you how much of an example of love, true love they really are. I definitely cried hearing the groom and bride speak their vows. The venue was perfect, the weather, lighting, food (heavenly), coffee, dance floor, ect... It was all perfect. I honestly would have to give the wedding a 10 out of 10. Now, I've known this couple for years and have shared so many good memories with them. I can't be happier for them. I will say, and this is why I decided on writing this piece, going to a wedding as a single person is VERY DIFFERENT than going with someone you care for. First off, there's a lot of wandering around, checking my phone and fixing my clothes to look busy. Secondly there's a lot of turning your eye away from things that could make you sad (i.e other cute couples taking pictures together and being cute and happy and stuff.) But here's the thing. THAT'S LIFE.
Okay, take it from someone who is still sad over a break up that happened a while ago, life from now on is done DIFFERENTLY. Instead of waiting to see if your date wants to dance on the dance floor, you just go... and dance with, honestly whoever is around you. Instead of taking pictures with that special someone, you take a few of yourself (aka this OOTD POST) and your friends. Instead of carpooling, you drive home alone. Instead of possibly matching your outfits (something I love doing) you just wear whatever you want. Now, leading up to this day I'll be honest, as happy as I was this day was here, I was nervous. I was nervous I wouldn't be able to be happy, have fun and I would be worried about things I shouldn't be. And if I'm being completely honest, there were moments yesterday that I was.... that doesn't go away. But overall, I changed my perspective and did everything I would normally do at a wedding with someone I cared about, alone and differently. I just did it differently. I took several photos of my outfit and my friends, I danced with a number of people and I wore what I wanted. I ate ONLY the food on my own plate (bummer) and I walked myself to my car (which was fine cause I tripped and no one saw.) It wasn't bad, it was different.
But here's why I didn't leave sobbing or have a meltdown, God has got me. He knows my little heart. He sees me putting myself out there when I feel the opposite. He sees me trying. He sees me decide to do the right thing, over the "But I don't wanna" way. He knows what's on my mind when I hear the groom speak his vows to his future wife, and how I can't wait for someone to feel/speak that way about me. He knows how badly I wanted seconds (I mean it was plantains, who wouldn't). He knows how lonely I can feel at times. He knows I felt truly beautiful for the first time in a long time. He knows all the little things and He's holding me still.
It's funny, sometimes we view God as our rescuer when things fall apart, but what about 6 months later when they still aren't fully mended? Well, my God....yeah, He's still here. He doesn't say, "It's been *insert time frame*, get over it." He doesn't say, "Pay attention to your friends, stop being a baby." He doesn't say, "Well it was your fault." He says, "I know. I see you. I feel that way about you. You're gonna have fun tonight. Get out there. I got you." And man, that is such a great feeling. Add that with a great cup of coffee and you got an awesome Friday night with friends.
All in all, I just was reminded how good God is and how God continues to hold me no matter what. I love that about Him. I don't know if my story about a Friday night wedding will encourage you, but know that whatever you're going through, God's got you. He will carry you through and He never stops carrying you. Well, on another note, in preparation for this day I bought a cute romper. Now to end this post on an even happier note, I'm gonna show it off. It was also only $20 from Marshall's (a place I went into on my lunch break for a computer case and stumbled across this beauty.) Hope you enjoy!
All Photos by: Alexis Gauthier ----> https://www.instagram.com/alexisjaneegauthier/
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