what valentines day means to me
Happy Valentines Day. I need to start by saying that I’m sorry if you came here for a look book, outfit video or a list of my current favorite foundations. This is not that kind of post. For those who have been reading my blog for a while, then you’ll know sometimes I get personal and sometimes I write…a lot. So here goes, today we are talking about today – Valentines Day.
To be honest with you I have mixed emotions. I am not in a relationship and I am single. Of course being single on Valentines Day for the first time in years is not something I was really looking forward to. As it approached the calendar like a creeping deadline at a job you hate, I clenched my fists ready to fight off the tears and urge to watch When Harry Met Sally while stuffing my face with Hawaiian Pizza. Now that it is here, I have to say I’m handling it a lot better than I thought. “You go girl” I say to myself while typing this. I have to say 2016 was a hard year for me. Heck, who didn’t have a crappy 2016? Am I right (please let me be right). But Valentines day doesn’t have to be a depressing production about all the things I lost in 2016 (and sometimes wish I could still have, and hold, and love, and hug). Okay, okay I’m getting carried away. Sorry I’m listening to JOHNNYSWIM right now and “Say Goodnight Instead” just came on so I’m in my feels. * Changes it to Beyonce’s “Sorry."* Ah, Much better.
Anyway, I thought of the many girls who also have mixed emotions on ‘holidays’ like this. Maybe my thoughts can make them feel a little bit better (or at least give them a break from their Taylor Swift crying session. – If you’re doing that right now, stop - DM me and join me on whatever adventure I ended up planning for myself. I’m dead serious.) Like I was saying, today is a day we celebrate love. It’s a day surrounded by couples and memories and red body-con dresses (groundbreaking), but I can’t help but see the celebration of love meaning something different to me. To be honest, I probably won’t celebrate every Valentines Day like this but I think it’s important to celebrate at least one with this perspective. Have you ever thought maybe love doesn’t have to always include another human being. Maybe it doesn’t have to be your significant other your are celebrating with.
This past month I have fallen more and more in love with myself and my dreams. I now totally understand those business women who may be single but they are so happy working and busting their butt to make their dreams come true. It’s weird cause I have absolutely no pity in my singleness because this entire month I have made the conscious decision to only allow myself time to look forward, to work hard and to create a vision that I fall in love with. And yes, it hurts some days. I can’t lie. I’ve already discussed this pain in a post before, but I’m in a whole new place that I can’t help but smile through it. I’m looking forward to celebrating this day, and the rest of the year like the little girl in Despicable Me when she finally got her ‘fluffy’ unicorn toy at the carnival – “IT’S SO FLUFFY I’M GONNA DIE.” Except my dreams aren't exactly 'fluffy' and hopefully I won’t die. Wow, that escalated quickly. Maybe I should have chosen a different example?
All in all, I’m looking forward with a happiness no man can give because it’s the type of joy that can only come in the mourning. Yes, I typed ‘mourning’ and yes I also mean ‘morning’. Get it? Bible joke – sorry. There’s this quote that I recently have been living by and it goes like this, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” by Socrates. I encourage those out there in need of a little bit of happiness to take that quote and run wild. This day doesn’t have to suck. It doesn’t have to hurt. You know what you need. You’ve cried enough. You’ve pitted yourself enough. Get up. You deserve to enjoy this Tuesday. You deserve to love yourself and the life you're dreaming of. You should have fun today. Go on an adventure. Eat whatever you want. Buy what you please. Sing loudly, rap badly and laugh like you’re watching The Office for the first time. You’ll find your Jim, your Ross, your Chuck, your Nick. He’s coming, but for now You are Pam, you are Rachel, you are Blair, you are Jess and that is enough. That is more than enough. Happy Valentines Day.
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