you were made for something greater than yourself: my story on fulfillment
You Were Made for Something Greater Than Yourself.
Do you ever find yourself feeling unfulfilled? Pause. Now as any writer would know having a title such as “You Were Made for Something Greater Than Yourself” with an opening sentence of, “Do you ever find yourself feeling unfulfilled” really alludes to the fact that I’m answering the question with the title so no need to read further. But might I add, if as the writer I give you the bulk of the discussion within the first 5 seconds you’re reading it, yet there are still paragraphs left to read, wouldn’t that mean I have more to say than just to answer a simple question? Maybe I’m going to discuss what that “greater” really is, or maybe I’m going to cover the issues to why we feel unfulfilled. Either way you won’t know unless you keep reading. So if you are a reader like me and paragraphs don’t scare your social media induced mind, then let’s continue. Action.
Like I was saying do you ever find yourself feeling unfulfilled? There’s just way too many people in the world that can answer that question with a yes. I mean as humans, that’s not too shocking right? Why are more and more people feeling this way every day? How come people are no longer happy? In fact, they are miserable. They have the degrees, the job, the money, the partner to live life with, the house, the kids, the dogs, the friends, the travel experience, the good credit scores, and more yet they feel a void. A void they can’t explain. You see three years ago I was studying Psychology in school. I was convinced I loved it and wanted to be a counselor some day. It wasn’t until I really did some soul searching after a very disturbing case study in one of my classes that I came to find out that I’m a very empathetic person; meaning I have empathy for others (I feel what they feel without trying to feel it.) I would say I have later come to see this also as a blessing, but at that time it was a curse. I wondered why I couldn’t sleep, lost my appetite, and felt a heaviness I couldn’t shake. I was taking my work/school home with me and I wasn’t the person for the job.
I first saw this as failure. I was a failure of a student, of a person and I would never amount to anything successful as a counselor. This really got me discouraged until that last thought popped back into my mind, “I will never amount to anything successful as a counselor.” That’s it!! I will fail as a counselor! Wahoo! Now, you’re probably wondering why I am celebrating for this seemingly ‘failure’ but it just clicked in my head. I will always fail at trying to be a counselor because people always fail trying to do the things they were never meant to do. So instead of seeing my countless sleepless nights as failure, I saw it as a sign to make a change. I can count therapist off my list of job choices! I’m one more step closer to what I will actually be good at. Yay! Now I wish I could say the very next day I figured it all out and the rest was history, but that’s just not the case. Two more years went by and I ended up graduating with an A. A in general studies. A.K.A I couldn’t decide what to study. Fast forward another year, and it’s today. The day I am writing this blog post. It’s April of 2017 and I can gladly say that in the fall I will be studying P.R with a minor in Digital Media. Now, three years ago I didn’t even know what those words meant, but I have never been happier with a degree in my life.
You’re probably wondering why I decided to share that story with you. You see, studying Psychology was something I decided to do because it made money, and there was job security. I didn’t want to do it because I had an undying love for it. There are people that do and I am definitely not one of them. That entire first year of school I was unhappy. Unfulfilled. Even after I made the choice to get out of that degree I was still unhappy. I was still unfulfilled. I felt this way for two years. It wasn’t until a random October day when I decided to buy www.astoldbyamanda.com that I had hope for something new. At first I didn’t get it. Not in the metaphoric way, no I really mean I didn’t get how freaking websites worked. Coding, html, WordPress, square space, domains, copyright infringement, all of that sounded like a foreign language to me. If it wasn’t for a 10-month cycle of researching, writing, publishing, and failing I would still be looking for a different degree. Yet in that cycle I found a love for blogging, a love for social media, a love for digital marketing. Coming from someone who literally auditioned 12 times for Disney Channel, that’s not something I ever thought I would say. Yet, I am here today with only a finger pinch of ‘success’ and a lot of fulfillment to show for.
You see, the love I have for blogging doesn’t stem from posing for pictures, or emailing brands, or figuring out how Lightroom works. No, the love I have comes from the random comments I get saying, “This inspired me to start my own blog”, or “Wow, this post has me in tears. I needed to hear this today.” It comes from the dm’s from girls going through rough times asking me to grab coffee. It comes from that one collab I did with a girl because I liked her style and now we’re best friends and text every single day. The fulfillment I now have doesn’t come from getting free stuff or money in exchange for IG flat lays, no it comes from the connection I get to make every day with real people. That’s when I started thinking a lot deeper into why I am doing what I’m doing. It also helped I am reading a book called, “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek. It’s a great book for any leader, entrepreneur, or social influencer to bring your heart back to the ‘Why.’ I highly recommend it. I started thinking that maybe, I was made for something greater than myself. Maybe my blog, the photos, the captions, were all made to happen for a purpose much greater than myself.
This idea sparked a deeper level to my already burning passion for blogging/ entrepreneurship. It really put a higher call to what I am doing. This call has me jumping out of bed at 6am just to have an hour before work to write. It has me staying up till 3am editing pictures, planning out IG posts and responding to brand pitches. All in all, my hobby, my random October purchase now has a purpose. A deeper call that is much greater than myself.
I don’t know what is causing your un-fulfillment, your un-happiness. I don’t know what level of dissatisfaction you find yourself on today, but I can say this; it doesn’t always have to be that way. You don’t have to settle. You aren’t out of time. Who cares what they will say, right? I know it’s much easier said than done but think about it. You stop doing the things that are potentially causing your unhappiness (may take some time to configure what those ‘things’ are) and you go on a hunt for the things that set your soul on fire. For me it took 3 years and a lot of failing. Heck some may even look back at my A. A in General Studies and see that as a failure, where I see it as a launching pad. I also see that as a success given the fact most members in my family didn’t get to go to college. Either way you quit it cold turkey and you keep moving forward. You don’t return to the thing you quit because the other thing isn’t giving you the results you want right away, you keep going. You go and go until you wake up and realize you are early to work. You realize it’s 5am and the time has just flown by and you didn’t even realize it. It’s in those moments you see the things you love come to life inside of you and you won’t be able to deny it.
That’s when you’ll finally understand that you were meant for something much greater than yourself. You will see that you have a purpose in your life that is meant to be fulfilled only by you. Whether you see it this way or not, I believe this purpose is a God given purpose. You weren’t dropped down on this earth by aliens, so there has to be a great reason you are here. A mission if you will that you must accomplish. If that mission is to teaching children how to read and write so that one day they can grow up and change the world, then by golly – that’s your mission. That’s your purpose. Right now I know I have a purpose to inspire people on the internet with being as real and honest as possible. Showing them the love of Christ through my lifestyle and working hard. There of course is more to that purpose that I am hoping will be revealed to me through time and diligence but for now it’s enough. Actually for forever it’s enough. People are what matter to me and that’s enough to build a career on. A life on.
What do you see your purpose being? If you don’t know I challenge you to do some soul searching and make a list of all the things that make you happy. Maybe, if you’re up for it, spend time alone asking God what the purpose of your life is, what your mission is, why you’re here. I know this is pretty heavy stuff for a Monday afternoon thought, but hey. Is there ever really a “good time” to get real online, or is it all the time? It should be all the time. Life is too short and we are not promised tomorrow. Unfortunately, my generation knows that fact a little too well, but hey it’s the truth. I leave you with encouragement that you do have a purpose. It’s up to you to find and fulfill that purpose for a fuller and happier life. You were made for greater and greater you can be.