I remember that Early Sunday afternoon

Cocooned in my room watching sailor moon,

Not realizing my life was about to change.


“Tumor.” “Cancer.” The words just kept pouring out.

“This can’t be happening to us” I thought. Shocked and in doubt.


I didn’t understand so I put God on my stand.

And yelled “Order! Order! Order in MY court!”

He said, ‘Call your pain by name” but I couldn’t … Voldemort.


“We’ve already faced so many trials, why this one too God?”

He said, “Do not live in denial, remember what I did to Moses’ rod.”


“I cancer-vive” the hospital gift shop cards would say.

Ugh, I hated that stupid place, there were no promises ever made.


It took months and months of God knocking down my pride.

“When my knees hit the floor”, so He could be glorified.

Now I stand, untouched by the devil’s hand

and can say it’s been 730 days free from cancer’s plan.


The craziest thing is I wasn’t the one under the knife,

But I woulda, coulda, shoulda in her place, for her life.

You see, I’m not the same person that I once was.

Neither is she. No, we don’t want your applause.


It’s true, pain changes you.

In bad ways and in good.

I thank God it was only two

years in cancer’s neighborhood.


So today I look back knowing she is the strongest.

A fighter, a lover. Even though the battle felt like the longest.

Momma, I only hope to amount to half the woman you’ve become.

And I choose to always celebrate life, whatever may come.



Amanda SmithComment